With my court case looming in the distance, and the reality of my situation sinking in, I found myself hitting the panic button in a typical fashion. First I went out and had a few pints with work collegues, and then when I got home, I cried. Like really cried. Like cried in a way that was just out of utter disappointment. Almost like a break up, but a little more poignant as it was my own damn fault that I got myself into this situation in the first place.
So as visa appeals go, I’m hoping that I can gather enough evidence and lay out my case in such a way that the judge (with any luck, a sympathizer) will be hard pressed to deny me the opportunity to stay and continue living in the UK.
I guess I’m just nervous. I know I got other options, and they are open to me. I think it’s more the unknown future that I’m a little wary of as everything seems so up in the air. Job prospects, relationships, accomodation, funding, the world as I know it – ok a little dramatic but you get the point. The one thing that seems to keep my sanity is work. And I find myself throwing myself into work with such a force that I’m almost consumed by it. New ideas and projects to try out. Just need the time to think it through carefully – that or just start it up and see what happens. The second path is my choice of travel, with mixed sucuess!
So I find myself looking at a weekend of full time teaching with no break inbetween and in some ways I’m relieved for the distraction. In other ways I’m just knackered and want everyone just to leave me alone. I know I’m tired and I can feel it, not just physically, but deep inside. I’m a little frayed.
I still have hope that things will work out. And find comfort in that.
